Melisa Uchida

Which is more important to you: Piece of mind or Peace of Mind?

I recently made a commitment to be my best self all of the time. I realize it’s a big goal that requires continuous awareness and reflection. I decided to prioritize feeling good. Sounds funny right? I thought so too. Somewhere in my subconscious, I believed that feeling good was selfish. I thought I was supposed to feel badly. Feeling badly stinks. Uncomfortable feelings are normal and natural, but not all the time or even a majority of the time.

I had a habit of complaining. It was a habit and I could not see it.

I discovered this habit as I was texting one of my best friends a list of complaints for that week. I stopped after three and looked at my list. Were any of these worth giving up my PEACE OF MIND? What I wanted to do was vent. But in the process of that, I gave up my peace because I was focused on the problem.

If we look at PEACE OF MIND as a pie; Visualize your brain and the energy around it as a whole pie. When we complain, judge, get angry, hold onto resentments, ruminate, criticize ourselves or others – we are taking out a slice of that pie. It doesn’t matter if we are hurling it at the object of our dissatisfaction or more often – someone else, eating it, sharing it with someone, or throwing it in the trash – the effect is the same. We have lost our PEACE OF MIND for the sake of wanting someone to give someone a PIECE OF OUR MIND.

Here’s the thing, we can’t have both at the same time. You have to choose one or the other.

Try this with me, just for fun.

On a scale of 1-10, how important is feeling good to you? In other words, how important is your PEACE OF MIND to you right now?

1 = not important at all

10 = extremely important

Most of us fall somewhere in the middle. We have not made our own peace of mind, our joy or our feeling good, a priority.

What if you bumped your number up to 10? What would that look like?

Now, think of something that bothers you, maybe a time someone criticized you or a complaint you hear yourself repeat often. Is this worth giving up your feeling good? Is this something you want to carry with you into the future? Is this worth losing your peace of mind? Try to see it from outside the normal habitual thinking of the brain. How important is feeling good to you?

Play around with this and have fun. Anytime something comes up and ruffles your feathers, gets you activated in a negative way – ask yourself, What can I learn about myself from this situation?

What is the feeling I am trying to avoid and what does this feeling want me to know about this situation?

You do have a choice in how you feel. It means choosing a thought that produces a different feeling. It takes practice, patience and self-compassion. Pause for a moment and ask to be shown other perspectives. There is a choice there. It’s just buried in the muck of habitual thought.

Protect your peace of mind and be willing to give up trying to control other people. Instead, commit to prioritizing your peace of mind.

Try these affirmations to use in retraining your mind to choose the good-feeling thought.

Every day in every way, I am getting better and better.

I choose to feel good today, because feeling good allows me to be of service.

I accept myself fully and completely and I accept others just as they are.

I give myself what I need.

I am whole and complete, just as I am.

Or make up an affirmation that brings your clarity and peace.